i know

i like being in my space and having something to conquer, something easy and simple, to make me feel accomplished.
today, i organized my earring glass.
i made an anklet and put it on.

mostly, though, i was very mopey.

i have clothes that i can fold. i think i'll tackle that.
it's funny how the littlest things can make me hopeful.
sometimes, i feel like i have so little influence and direction that sitting around all day in my gigantic sweats won't matter.
whaddaya know.

it doesn't

although the essays i need to write probably wouldn't feel the same.

sometimes i think i just need a completely unbiased body to talk to.
i'm feeling trapped.
my god.
if i'm this frustrated with the way life is, how is it gonna be in 2, 4 or 38 years?
how am i ever gonna deal with myself?

maybe i'll find someone who can deal with me better than i can.
hopefully.

there are so many things i could be.
so many roles i could fill.