i smile bigger on the right side of my mouth.

next year, for prom, i need to find a dress i could wear forever. really.

when people talk about me behind my back, it makes me feel weird. and kind of cool.

it's gotten less cool.

jog it off

i think i might be able to sing.
maybe just a little.

i don't really have anything to write about...

the seniors are leaving really soon. i haven't really thought about it.
no one is going fabulously far away.
we got our yearbooks today and did some hardcore signing.
me and raq each wrote a page to each other.
i miss jackie a little bit.
she hugged me today.
i love what i have right now, but ill always want more.

i'm going to ghana in less than 3 weeks.
overwhelming.
i'm so excited. i'm also pretty sure that i'm gonna be bored at times.
i love being strong, i never want to be old and weak.

i love strong women. i think i'm in love with the cute woman at target who handles returns.
frealz.

on another note, i'm sick of being tired. i just want to have boundless energy.

let's hug.

foot bath

my dad bought our tickets to ghana today.

we're laving the day after we get out of school.

i'm worried that i won't appreciate it. 

i like to think i will, but i'm nervous that i'm just not as cool as i thought.

i like singing vigorously along to songs on the radio and not know the words.

i miss being a kid.

sometimes i get sick of being cautious.

thrift store=superior to everything

i wanna go running, but i'm feeling too heavy to move that fast.

i'm curious about what being someone else would feel like.

i would like the pool to open.

bitter creek

we're watching a movie right now in physics about time.

and time travel.

it scares me to think about it.

i like for time to be something i take for granted. i don't want to over think it.

it's time for bed, most of the time.

tests are coming up. i'm worried that i gave up too easily.

when i look in the mirror, i see less than perfect, but more than a wreck.

thankfully.

that sick feeling you get in your tummy when something bad happens?

you know it?

money is rough.

how would things be different if we had more money.

if we had less money.

i'm thankful, most of the time.

i love friends.

i live for them.

for some reason, i can't see past them loving me.

i want to dance like there's no tomorrow.

but really, this time.

kiss me.

just remember who i am.

who. not what.

sometimes i worry that i have medical problems that nobody is noticing.

maybe i'll die young.

here's to looking at you.

what am i gonna do when the system is done with me. how am i gonna live without the plans.

i kind of want to be korean.

no. just beautiful.

give me a hug. and never let go.

we can sleep and eat together.

nbd.

BD.

oh darling

fuck.

i just wanted to go out. it's SO HARD BEING LAME.

now is a time that i could use a reliable next-door-neighbor.

gimme a break.

you need to focus on things that are more pressing. i'm worried.

gimme a break.

i'm just trying to be friends. you being a dick to me some of the time isn't helping.

telling you to bugger off just makes me madder.

i'm trying to connect with more than me and you.

relax.

twisting the truth

the reason for seeing what we see and saying what we say and doing what we do is the greatest mystery of it all.
biology just doesn't suffice.
it's been a year. my eyes still burn when i look at you. when i divert my eyes.
it's not out of respect. know that.
i wish i was a musician.
i want to be able to create my own destiny.
can you spell liscencee?
nope.
i have dreams that reach further than what i was destined to do.
let it be.
if ever i settle, midnight walks will accompany.
one day i'll fly away.
if i could be anyone, i'd be me.
if i could look like anyone.
don't ask me that.
sometimes i forget how to be cool. remind me one of these days.
i love it when you laugh.
distinguished.
distinguish me from everything you know.
it's hard to observe.
kneel slowly, gently, don't hurt yourself.
life is hard on the joints.
if it's bigger than me, count me in.
it's smaller too.
i want to be picked first.
bodybuilders? we've reached the twilight zone.
all-aboard!
twist me around your finger, sleep in on warm days, hold your breath for longer, see it all in a green light, dance extra hard, i'm into you. forget i ever said that.
skin is hard to overcome.
most are held back.
i want to be willing and free. and able.
count me in.
your chin quivers on the offbeat. holes in pants make for a better pant. overall, i would say avocados enhance the day.
take a vacation from being cool.
be mine, for once. just ask for the keys first.
i make a bad choice as each new baby is born.
245 every minute.
a welcome. it ain't cheap, girlfriend.
gimme a hand.
i was made for lovin you, baby.
all the nights.

they want you.

poison

i think that the most important thing about growing up is remembering.
just remembering, everything.