i know

i like being in my space and having something to conquer, something easy and simple, to make me feel accomplished.
today, i organized my earring glass.
i made an anklet and put it on.

mostly, though, i was very mopey.

i have clothes that i can fold. i think i'll tackle that.
it's funny how the littlest things can make me hopeful.
sometimes, i feel like i have so little influence and direction that sitting around all day in my gigantic sweats won't matter.
whaddaya know.

it doesn't

although the essays i need to write probably wouldn't feel the same.

sometimes i think i just need a completely unbiased body to talk to.
i'm feeling trapped.
my god.
if i'm this frustrated with the way life is, how is it gonna be in 2, 4 or 38 years?
how am i ever gonna deal with myself?

maybe i'll find someone who can deal with me better than i can.
hopefully.

there are so many things i could be.
so many roles i could fill.

i am glass more than some

i don't think i like christmas that much at all.
nope, i pretty much hate it.
i think it puts me in a bad mood.
oh well. i was in a bad mood for most of today.
unfortunate.

it has this whole feeling of such obligation to be grateful and happy with the people around you, i almost want to defy the idea of it all and just be a complete bitch to all i see.
i mean, sorry.

i feel like i've been taking soooo many showers over the break, but it's just cause i don't have the same schedule i do during school. that, being without my schedule, throws me off a tidge.

i wish that i could appreciate the things that other people do.
i wish i had a more fluid slash satisfying outlet for my frustration with everything.
i hate sounding cliche.
i wish i had more to talk about than me.

i'm going to ghana over the summer with my dad. i have all these ideas about it's gonna be, but i know that it's gonna be like nothing i could have imagined.
recently, i think i've been doing less of the usual pre-activity fanasising.
it makes me a little sad when i realize how things change.

touche

ohm shanty shanty.

clementines are cute and handy. their skin is sometimes very tough.

i'm really pale and it makes me yearn for the summer living.
i think my skin has changed like 37 shades since then.

i am too fat to die.

avery's butt is always showing. no big.

i got some cute green shoes from the thrift store and now i want a dress to wear them with. also a a sun and a beach.
possibly a tan as well?

rufus was heaven. i read his bio on wiki and it made me feel close to him.